The Irony of it All

I love this country...and for so many reasons. Here is just one example:

At some point in the not so distant past, I was the victim of a crime. A minor crime. Some goniff stole the registration sticker from my rear license plate and the very nice Highway Patrolman brought it to my attention. All I needed to do was get a replacement sticker, have a police officer verify that I had placed it on my license plate, and send it back to the courthouse -- accompanied by a $10.00 processing fee, of course. Not too bad. Of course, that did not take into account the $15 fee that the police station charged as a verification fee. So -- being a victim cost me $25.00.

And if they were to catch the guy and he was unable to afford a lawyer, my tax money would provide him with legal representation.

And that, my friends, is just one of the things that I love about this country!!

Au Pair Update

So here's the news that's fit to print:

Au Pair (A/P) is here until January 5th. Apparently we have to house her for two weeks after the exit interview. We are not letting her drive since (a) she dinged our car and (b) never got us the paperwork that we need to insure her. So the kids will be spending a lot of time at home over the next two weeks.

We'll start getting applications tomorrow. One thing that we've made very clear -- the new A/P must bring driving record WITH HER!

So for now, we are looking for someone to do the pick-ups two afternoon a week until the new A/P arrives (which, God-willing, will be in February). My parents are being awesome and will do the schlepping the other two days. And, of course, I'll do it on my day off. Quite a change from the nice consistency we've had the past two months. But this is temporary. Just hoping that we'll be able to find someone who is willing to do the driving -- and is only looking for a temporary job.

We're not prepared to write off the entire au pair process yet. It has been discouraging, to be sure. However, I've known many families who have had a wonderful experience. Hopefully we'll be one of those families.

In the meantime, we just soldier on. It's a little awkward having someone live in your home who doesn't really want to be there anymore. But, as the story goes, it could always be worse! (Pooh-pooh-pooh)

Au Pairadise??

Things are nisht gut in au pairadise! Our au pair has given notice. Apparently she doesn't care for being an au pair. Too stressful. Too much work. Making her sick. And what she really wants to do is go to college. She's been unhappy, it turns out, for about four weeks. Never mentioned a thing because "there was no point in saying anything until I made up my mind." One way to approach a problem, I suppose. She has been accepted to a community college in a different part of the county and arranged to move in with two friends -- classes begin on January 8th!

As for us? We go back into the system and begin again. We are a little gun-shy, but feel better prepared this time. And though in any situation both sides are responsible, it is clear to us and to the agency that at least 95% of the blame lies with the au pair and not with us. 8% of au pairs are just not suitable and somehow get through the whole process before anyone figures that out. We'll start looking at candidates and hopefully will find a good match in the next couple of weeks. It will then take about 6 weeks for the new one to arrive in our home.

It's a darn good thing that I'm a calm person by nature or else I'd be totally freaking out right now ;)

All Jewish All the Time

at least during the 8 days of Chanukah. That's right. XM Satellite Radio has a channel devoted entirely to Jewish music. And for those who do not subscribe to XM, it is available online for free this entire week. Much of the music has absolutely nothing to do with the Festival of Lights. It is just Jewish in nature -- and sometimes the only thing Jewish has been the artist. But it has been fun to hear such a wide variety of Jewish tunes coming from my computer speakers as well as being introduced to new composers and artists. It will continue through the end of Chanukah so go ahead and take a listen.

A lichtegeh and freilichin Chanukah!

Hello World!

Frume Sarah is back in the saddle. As some of you know, it's been a crazy few months with the anticipated arrival of "Peach" sometime after Pesach. The morning sickness was just unbelievable this time 'round. It was never just in the morning -- and it lasted about 21 weeks!! I still get a bit queasy in the morning and late at night as well. But very little throwing up now (sorry for the graphics here) and that is a very good thing. I've finally gained a little weight -- which is also a very good thing.

And it isn't as if I haven't had opinions and musings that I longed to share with you. I just lacked the koyach (strength) to type.

However, I am committed to push aside the exhaustion in order to share my innermost thoughts and rants with you.

Happy reading!!

You Know You've Made It -- Part II

We were in the LA times last week!!! Really! It was a great article and a lot of fun to wake up and read about my life in the paper.

Enjoy!

Hotter than ...

Ay yi yi!

It's like living in Manhattan...except we're not. It is SO hot and SO humid. We actually had an electrical storm this evening. It doesn't seem to have helped much with the mugginess. PC actually said that he doesn't know how he's going to make it through the summer without A/C.

You may have noticed that I haven't posted in quite some days. I have been just so busy with the new job and have been having a minor (read: MAJOR) childcare crisis the past several weeks. We are in the midst of looking for a new nanny -- and that takes up all my free time. And in typical Frume Sarah style, this was the same week that the washing machine stopped working and though the spa is finally fixed -- it's not clean enough to use.

B'li Neder alert: I do hope to be back in the next few days with some thoughts about Israel, who has been foremost in my thoughts and prayers.

You Know You've Made It When...

the Forward publishes an article about you!!!

How cool is that?

The Forverts has been around since 1897 and though it hasn't been a daily since 1983, it remains one of the preeminent Jewish periodicals, published in English, Yiddish, and Russian each week.

And this week, you can read about Frume Sarah :)

Frume Sarah and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Ever have one of those days??

I should have known...

Poppyseed didn't sleep last night. As a result, Poppyseed's mother (yours truly) did not sleep last night. All day long, strange little problems kept cropping up and yet I kept going.

While in the grocery store, I received a phone call from the nanny. Seems that the water in the house was not running. Not a huge problem once we determined that no pipes had burst. Due to a miscommunication, PC had thought that the gas and water bill was on automatic payment. PC was wrong.

No big deal. The water will return in the morning. As long as no one has to go to the bathroom...we'll be fine. The bigger problem is that the gas company is unable to switch the gas back on until Friday morning. However, according to PC this too is no big deal.

"We'll just take cold showers," he suggested.

"How about a hotel?" I retorted.

As I wandered around the grocery store muttering to myself, I was unaware that there had been a queso accident in aisle 17. It wasn't until I walked right through it (in my cute flip-flops) that I just about lost it. How was I going to clean the queso off my foot without any water??

Sure, it sounds funny after the fact. But at the time, it was all I could do to restrain myself.

"Is it a full moon or something?" inquired the checkout girl?

"As a matter of fact, it is just about the middle of Tammuz."

Ok so she didn't have a clue what I meant -- but thanks to the fact that we still don't have drapes up in the master bedroom, I always know where we are in the lunar cycle.

And the days just kept on going in a similar vein. Poppyseed, who conveniently seems to be suffering from a case of shilshul, spilled her drink at dinner. When I discovered something sticky and hard in Beernut's hair, his response was "I didn't know that was going to happen!" [For the future, Beernut -- when you put melted Otterpop in your hair, it will always leave it hard and sticky.]

Yet when it comes right down to it, even with all the frustrations, life is good. Sure, we could be a little cleaner as we settle down to end this day. But we've got our health (poo-poo-poo), a roof over our heads (kinna hura), and tomorrow is (b'ezrat HaShem) another day.

Another shande far di goyim

I should have known when I read the synopsis that I wasn't going to like tonight's Law & Order repeat. Here is an adapted run-down from the NBC site:

Religious sensitivities flare when a man is mysteriously killed after desecrating a treasured edition of the Hebrew Torah. As the authorities investigate, they find the dead man was paid by the cousin of a prominent synagogue member to defile the book -- which might prompt a lucrative property sale. But as the Assistant D.A. probes the family feud, his prosecution is hobbled by political pressure and a debate concerning whether the greater crime was done to the slain man or to the holy text.

Why did this have to be on television for all the world to see? The stereotyped characters, the money thing, the rabbi twisting the Law in order to justify his participation in a lie -- ay, yi, yi. It was painful to watch. Do we know people like this? Of course we do. But does it have anything to do with being Jewish? I've met plenty of people who have a New York accent, are stingy with money, a bit on the crafty side, and are definitely NOT members-of-the-tribe.

Maybe I should be happy that we've become so integrated into American society that a whole episode is dedicated to us...

Or maybe we don't need to be so integrated.

I am turning into someone from my grandparents' generation. I am embarrassed when we are portrayed so negatively for all the world to see. With the current climate, we don't need any more negative portrayals.

Ironically, the anti-Semites still claim that Hollywood is run by the Jews.

Homecoming

After all the waiting, I've finally come home. Mostly, that is. As of this past Shabbos, I am now one of the rabbis of my home congregation -- with my father as the senior colleague. (See January 15, 2006 entry for more details)

It was a lovely service, but I must admit that I was really, really nervous. As the service began, I had some serious Bat Mitzvah flashbacks. I couldn't remember which melody I'd chosen for the opening song and I made certain (as instructed by my childhood cantor) not to cross my legs for fear I would forget to *uncross* them and fall flat on my face. (She was not making this story up; the senior rabbi managed to do this very thing at his kitchen table about 20 years ago the same day his family had planned a trip to Disneyland!)

Nervous? you ask. About what should I be nervous?

A bimah partnership is not built overnight. It comes with time and with many shared bimah experiences. My dad and I have well over 50 years of collective bimah experience -- only we don't have it together. And though we know each other really well (!), we've yet to learn one another's non-verbal cues and worship styles. Additionally, I'm learning which keys work best for me, work best for him, and work best for our congregation. I can already see that several pieces will need to be lowered if the congregation will have any hope of joining with me in song.

Now I'm on my own! It's July -- historically, a time when senior rabbis go on vacation. I've been moving boxes into the building these past few days. You may recall from the May 5th entry, that I moved 40 boxes out of my last study. And I've still got some boxes that never even made it to the JCC since I was a little short on bookshelves. So I'll be transferring boxes throughout the entire week! Thanks to the overwhelming generosity of some congregants, my newly-painted study will have plenty of bookcases to house my precious friends.

You can look forward to more regular postings now that Frume Sarah is back in the saddle!!

My Baby's Growing Up...

Three years ago today, Poppyseed was born.

"I can't believe that my babies are all grown up," I sighed.

"Don't worry, Mom," comforted Beernut, "you'll have another baby someday."

I really love that kid.

"Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This..."

Poppyseed's First Dentist Appointment

Oy! You'd think I'd get better at this stuff with each subsequent child. Supermommy still didn't remember the digital camera to document the event. I did remember "Blankie" (her lovie), but that didn't seem to help with the traumatic announcement.


Though there was no evidence of visual decay, Dr. H declared that the thumbsucking must stop immediately. Poppyseed heard this...and dissolved into heaving sobs.

"I can't suck my Thumbie? I going to miss her!"

All day little Poppyseed's thumb would inch towards her mouth...and she would look at it and reply,

"I not sucking my Thumbie anymore 'cause...'cause...{sob}...'cause I not suck her anymore."

CarTalk with Beernut

After what must have been a frustrating day in Kindergarten, Beernut heaved himself into his carseat (quite a feat for a kid who barely weighs 41 pounds)and exclaimed,

"Mom, you shouldn't have wished for me. You wasted your wish."

And finally...



"Provided By Management For Your Safety"


A toilet seat cover to some.

But after a long day, a life saver to me.

On all other days we vote just once, but on this day we vote twice!

The reason?
Apparently, today is both the Statewide Primary as well as the city's election day. And because we have yet to streamline the voting process, city ballots need to be cast and counted separately from the county, because the City of Long Beach uses a different voting system than the county. The good news is that two ballots allowed for each of my children to cast one -- so no fighting!

This was the first year that Beernut really understood what we were doing. Poppyseed was just in it for the cookies and "I voted" stickers.

Whatever gets people to the polls...

Marking time Jewishly

 

It happened so fast. It was in his mouth and suddenly it was on the table.

"Mazal tov!" I exclaimed

His first baby tooth.

Beernut was so excited! That is until he noticed the blood. It really wasn't all that much blood. But Beernut has this thing about blood.

"This isn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be!!" he quivered.

A dark shadow passed over his face with the appearance of bloodspecks on his dinner.

"You know, the tooth fairy is going to visit tonight."
"What if I wake up when she tries to reach under my pillow?" Beernut worried.
"Beernut, if Daddy and I can move furniture in your room without bothering you, the tooth fairy won't have any difficulties."
"Well, maybe we should leave the tooth fairy pillow on my door handle just in case."

There isn't a prescribed blessing for a loose tooth. Perhaps because it is a natural and expected occurance. Nor is there a mitzvah involved. But to allow the moment pass unmarked seemed anti-climactic. And not very Jewish.

"Let's say our special blessing for firsts, OK? I'll do the Hebrew and..."
"I'll say amen," he interrupted.
"That's right, Sweetheart, you say amen."

And so we thank You, Dear God, for creating us, keeping us alive, and bringing us to these very special moments. 

You know we've made it...

when the most dramatic moment at the National Scripps Spelling Bee hinged on the correct spelling of the word 'hechsher.'

Apparently, 14 year-old Saryn Hooks from North Carolina spelled it 'hechsher' while the judges believed the correct spelling to be 'hechscher.' I guess no one told them that unless one is firmly entrenched in the world of academia, transliterating a word from Hebrew into English usually involves several options.

Good thing that the word wasn't 'chanukah!'

The Pot Making a Racial Statement

It gives a false impression, spell check does. Though it attempts to be thorough, can we really expect it to replace the eagle-eye capabilities of a careful editor?

Recently, I was most appalled to read that "fortune coolies" were to be served at a luncheon held at a Chinese restaurant.

Besides the Divine injunction against cannibalism, it's just not P.C. to refer to the hired help as coolies any longer.

In the words of my revered teacher, Dr. P, "spell check will never correct pubic library."

Alaska, cont'd

 


It really was a great vacation! We went sea kayaking in Sitka -- which was a great way to get out into nature. Our tour guide Billy reminded us of Keanu Reeves in Parenthood -- and not in a good way! It was his first tour and he was a little more concerned about getting us back to the boathouse than actually pointing out the local flora and fauna. Not to mention his ongoing concern about us being "discomfortable." Like, that is so not a word.

I would highly recommend sea kayaking to anyone looking for a great workout. And in 40 degree weather (that is Fahrenheit, BTW), it is an effective way to stay warm. 

Baby, it's cold outside!

 

Well, Frume Sarah and PC have returned from their trip to Alaska. It was actually a forshpice (appetizer) of Alaska as we had but two stops in Alaska; Sitka and Ketchiken. It was beautiful and we do plan to return and explore our 49th state. 

All's Well That Ends Well

All 40 boxes have been packed and moved out of my study at the J. Diplomas off the wall...the very last thing was to remove my mezzuzah. There should be a blessing. Or something to say. Some way to mark the moment of departure. Even when it is a good departure, there is still some sadness.

Frume Sarah will be sailing the seven seas so it'll be rather quiet 'round here til mid-May.

I'll return with stories galore!